Letter to Foster Carers from young person

Dear V

No this is not a formal letter, but it’s written as such so that you will always have a reminder to look back at if you ever forget or get another child into your care.

I was thinking about our chat over Sunday dinner regarding all the activities that you do with your Mockingbird group or what other Foster Carers do with the young children in their care.

You asked what we did and yes, the answers were limited at the time, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t do a lot with me. Sure we weren’t constantly doing new activities like others do, but as we have established, that isn’t me and realistically I would
have found it exhausting and thought you were trying too hard, which would be a further reminder that I was a foster child or make me wonder how much you were doing it because it was a job (no offence).

But you did a lot more with me that meant more, or has had a lasting effect, than all those constant activities would have. Let’s also not forgot the fact that I came into your care after already living a life. Sure, it wasn’t one I would have chosen, however, it was the one I was given and by the time I came to you I had already been forced to grow up and all I wanted and desperately needed was a break. A break from being someone’s
pseudo mother, a break from being someone’s servant/maid, a break from being someone’s bank, someone’s punching bag, a break from being used for everyone’s personal gain, while gaining nothing in return. A break to just breathe and live one day
without fear of what issue awaits me the next. You gave me that by just giving me my space without any expectations or pushing me, but you also gave me the following:

• First ice-skating trip (I was in pain and bruised for a while)
• Paid for my first school trip (I was always the child who had to stay with a teacher or go to other classrooms while everyone went on school trips)
• Took me to all the random drives to nowhere whenever I was feeling down
• First camping trip (I definitely prefer glamping or a cabin in the woods!)
• First surfing lesson (Tenby)
• Snorkelling (it was fun despite how it ended!)
• First actual holiday away
• Attempting to teach me how to ride a bike
• Showing up to school events or celebration events (EPIC awards – Exceptional People in Care, National Citizenship Service, Secondary school graduation, etc)
• My first piercing (that was my choice)
• My first tattoo (whether you approved or not, you didn’t judge)

Even as an adult, you showed up to one of my sport games. Being with me and practically hold-ing my hand through my legal issues with my status and all the work you did. You helped to get me a chance at having future of my choosing with no personal gain or reward expectations, that trumps anything else.

There are probably a lot more things we did that I haven’t listed. Also, remember that not all fostering relationships last 10 years or more and because of that a lot is squeezed into a short time period. We still have the luxury of time.

Thank you and D for just giving me your time, no matter how it was spent.
N xx