Lisa’s fostering journey
What first motivated you to become a Foster Carer (especially when you’re with children all day)?
“A close friend who was a teacher, and had been fostering for many years, encouraged me to go for it. It is something we had thought of for a while, but we didn’t have a spare room. Then our eldest daughter moved out and the timing was perfect. Being a Teaching Assistant gave me a great platform and I felt I could use my experience to help the children in our care.
After a few short-term arrangements, I eventually found a stable, long-term foster family. They were fantastic, I will always have so much love and gratitude for all they did for me.
I struggled to express my feelings or talk about the trauma I had experienced, I was scared to talk to adults and felt unable to trust anybody. That all started to shift when I was around 12 years old.”
What do your other commitments look like (work, family, hobbies)?
“I’m lucky that my husband works from home and my daughters are in their early 20s, so I have the time to commit to new demands. Also, my Headteacher has been amazingly flexible, and I only work one day each week and can increase as and when I want to.”
What difference would it make to you if your school had a Fostering Friendly policy (giving additional day’s leave for training, etc)?
“A fostering friendly policy would be a great idea. At the time we did all our appointments, etc after I had finished school or at the weekends.”
What wider support networks do you have to call on – both emotionally and practically?
“As my daughters are older, I call on them and they love to help. My parents and close friends have provided valuable support too.”
How do you manage you work-life balance?
“As my husband’s job means we are financially secure, this has given me more flexibility. Also the school I work for has been totally supportive. I’ve managed to use my free time wisely and made time to still see friends and have me time too.”
What strategies work for you to help with self-care?
“Fitting in some yoga and doing this with the child we care for has worked brilliantly. Putting dates on the calendar for time for me and forward planning. Not feeling guilty for taking 10 minutes just to sit and relax. Making time to text friends and being part of group chats helps me to feel part of what is going on even if I can’t be there.”
How do you meet your fostering requirements alongside working?
“Being organised has helped. Again, having a flexible Headteacher has been brilliant. I often see going into work as making valuable time for other children that I’ve built relationships with over the years, and this helps me to keep going.”
What advice would you give people concerned about potential allegations?
“It’s not something I’ve given too much thought about. I think keeping diary notes and asking the questions when you are not sure if what you doing is the correct approach is a must. Asking advice from our Supervising Social Worker and other professionals keeps everyone safe.”
What aspects of the West Sussex County Council support offer have been particularly beneficial?
“Different support groups have been brilliant to attend – especially the ones on Microsoft Teams have been so easy to access. The fostering newsletter keeps me informed about what’s going on.”
Your background in education will bring with it lots of valuable skills, what have been the benefits to the children you care for?
“So much! I use lots of strategies I’ve learnt over the years. Having worked 1:1 with lots of children who needed extra support has really been invaluable as I’ve used lots of resources, little tips and tricks that have worked well. This has been beneficial on so many levels. Our foster daughter also really enjoys knowing that I do this at my school with other children.”
Do you have any highlights, funny stories, or successes in fostering that you’d like to share?
“Highlights have been, Christmas, car picnics, swimming at the beach, laughing and smiling on a daily basis!”
What would you say to someone working in a school who was thinking of fostering?
“Definitely go for it! We wished now we had done it sooner! It has been rewarding in so many ways that we never even thought about before – just the small things like showing a child how to ride a bike or play a board game.”