Stewart and Lyndsey’s fostering journey

I never imagined that my life would take the path it has, but looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. My journey to becoming a Foster Carer has been one of the most rewarding, emotional, and life-changing experiences of my life. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been filled with love, learning, and a deep sense of purpose.

I grew up in a loving home where family meant everything. My parents worked hard to provide for me and my siblings, and from a young age, I understood the importance of stability and care. We weren’t a wealthy family, but what we lacked in material things, we made up for in love and laughter. My childhood was filled with adventure – running through fields, skateboarding until the streetlights flickered on, and gathering around the dinner table to share stories about our day. I always knew I wanted a family of my own, a home filled with warmth and togetherness, just like the one I was raised in.

When my partner Lynsey and I decided to start a family, we faced an unexpected challenge. We struggled to conceive and turned to IVF, hoping it would give us the child we so desperately wanted. The process was emotionally and physically draining, and after a series of disappointments, we had almost given up hope. Then, something incredible happened – we conceived naturally, not once, but twice. We were blessed with two beautiful little girls, our miracle babies. The joy of becoming parents was indescribable, but something inside me knew our family story wasn’t complete.

Fostering was always something that intrigued me and my wife. I’d heard stories of children in care who needed a loving home, and we couldn’t shake the idea that maybe we could be that home for them. We both knew it was something we wanted to do and wouldn’t be a decision to take lightly. We attended information sessions, spoke to social workers, and spent hours discussing how this would impact our family. Could we handle the emotional highs and lows? Would our daughters adjust? Could we love a child and then let them go?

Despite our fears, we took the plunge, and it has been one of the best decisions of our lives. We had to go through a rigorous process to become Foster Carers.

Initial Inquiry: Your fostering journey begins with an initial enquiry. This is a crucial step where you gather essential information about the requirements, responsibilities, and available support. This helps you decide whether fostering is the right choice for you.

Home Visit: If you are ready to move forward, the next step is to arrange a home visit. During this visit, a member of the Fostering Recruitment team will discuss the key requirements, what fostering entails, and what you can expect. This visit also ensures that your home is suitable for fostering.

Assessment Process: The final step is the assessment process. This involves a series of checks, references, and in-depth conversations to determine your suitability and readiness to become a Foster Carer. Once the assessment is complete and you receive approval from the panel, you are ready to embark on your fostering journey… for us, that was 7 years ago now.

From the moment we welcomed our first foster child, our hearts grew in ways we never imagined. Each child who has come through our doors has their own story, their own struggles, and their own hopes for the future. Some stay for only a short while, while others become part of our family for years.

One of the most rewarding moments in our fostering journey was when one of our foster children, who had since been adopted, came back to visit with his new family. It was a surreal and heartwarming experience. He walked through the front door, now taller and more confident, with his adoptive parents by his side. Seeing him happy and thriving was everything we could have hoped for. We sat together, reminiscing about the time he had spent with us, flipping through old photos and laughing at memories. It was a reminder that, even though he had moved on, we had made a difference in his life. He would always be a part of our family, no matter where life took him.

Of course, fostering comes with its challenges. There are the difficult goodbyes, the moments of heartbreak, and the sleepless nights. I’ll never forget one particular night when we were caring for a newborn. The poor little thing struggled to settle, and my partner and I took turns walking up and down the hallway, rocking him in our arms. Every time we thought he had drifted off to sleep, he’d start wailing again. By the time morning arrived, we were bleary-eyed and running on caffeine, but we couldn’t help but laugh at ourselves. Parenting – whether biological or through fostering – is a rollercoaster of exhaustion and joy.

Our daughters have grown up in a home where love isn’t measured by DNA but by the bonds we build. They have learned to be kind, compassionate, and welcoming. They understand that family is not just about who you are born to but who stands by you, who loves you, and who opens their heart to you.

People often ask us, “How do you do it? How do you let them go?” And the truth is, it’s never easy. Every child that comes into our home takes a piece of our hearts with them when they leave. But we remind ourselves that the time they spend with us – whether a few months or a few years – matters. It gives them stability, love, and the foundation to move forward in life.

Every child we’ve cared for has left a little imprint on our hearts. So, to keep those memories alive, my awesome wife gets a special keepsake for each one – a Christmas ornament with their name on it. This quirky little tradition has become a real highlight of our festive season!

Every year, as we drag out the decorations and get the tree ready, we carefully place each ornament on the branches. Each name brings back a flood of memories – giggles we shared, achievements we cheered for, and all the unique joys they brought into our home. It’s our fun way of celebrating the lasting impact they’ve had on us and keeps those precious moments alive year after year. Our tree ends up looking like a sparkling, memory filled masterpiece, and it brings so much joy and nostalgia to our holidays!

I wanted to give a special shout out to my incredible wife, Lynsey. She truly is the rock that binds us all together, and we simply couldn’t do this without her unwavering guidance, patience, and selfless love. Lynsey’s dedication and compassion shines through every day as she creates a warm and loving environment for the children we look after. Her ability to connect with each child and make them feel valued and loved is nothing short of remarkable.
In reality, I am just the helper in this journey. It is Lynsey, along with our wonderful daughters (Sienna and Isla), who truly make a lasting impact on the lives of the children we care for. Their kindness, empathy, and energy create a safe haven where these children can thrive. Kudos to them for their tireless efforts and for making such a significant difference in the lives of so many.

My wife Lynsey is the heart and soul of our family with her unwavering love, dedication and support which inspires us all. It doesn’t go unnoticed and as a reward she’ll be going on a nice holiday, flying business class to Mexico this year.

If I could give one piece of advice to anyone considering fostering, it would be this: it will change your life in ways you never expected. It will break your heart and fill it up again. It will teach you patience, resilience, and the true meaning of unconditional love.
Our family isn’t perfect, and we don’t have all the answers. But what we do have is a home filled with love, laughter, and the willingness to open our doors to children who need us. And to me, that’s what family is all about.

West Sussex County Council currently cares for over 950 children and urgently needs more Foster Carers. To find out if you could welcome a child into your home, please visit their website: fosteringwestsussex.org.uk or call: 0330 222 7775.